You're worthless and weak!

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Dear Lowe's Customer Service:

The submersible pump for our goldfish pond broke late yesterday, too late to make it to Cornerstone Waterscapes or Hardscape to buy a replacement.

Both of those specialty stores are closed Sunday, and our goldfish seemed to be gasping for air this morning. My wife declared an emergency, previous after-church plans were canceled, and I came to your store at 15th and Yale to buy something with which to aerate the pond.

I purchased your 1300 gallon/hour pump and your pressurized filter with UV light, along with 20 feet of corrugated 3/4" PVC tubing, as was recommended on the box.

When I got it home, it was clear that the outlet for the pump wouldn't fit inside the tubing. So back to the store I went, traipsing back and forth between the plumbing aisle and the pond aisle, trying to find an adapter that would allow me to connect the two.

When I got back home, I discovered that the filter kit contained three nozzles, one of which was for the pump.

When I finally got it all put together and switched it on, I was underwhelmed. The flow was a mere trickle, even though this pump had a higher rating (1300 gph) then my previous pump (1200 gph), an American-made Little Giant submersible pump (5-MSPR-WG). It is not a strong enough stream to aerate the pond. I tried it with the pump only and without the "pressurized" filter, and there was only a slight improvement.

Here's the best way to describe it: The old Little Giant pump was like a 21-year-old after a 6-pack of beer. The new Lowe's pump is like an 80-year-old with prostate problems.

I hope in the future Lowe's will stock high-quality American made pumps instead of shoddy but expensive Chinese products. But I won't hold my breath.

Unfortunately, my fish may have to.

Yours in algae,

Michael Bates

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Paul Tay said:

Alright, Bates. Enough with the RACIST comments ALREADY. Always blaming the Chinese for EVERYTHING. Why, next you'll be blaming a Chinese because of some jackass Santa rolling on the BA. Right, Santa BUSTED for DWC, driving while CHINESE.

RecycleMichael said:

We should start a fish pond pump business.

We could call it Koi's R Us.

All right, RM, that's enough carping out of you.

Shadow6 said:

Did you consider going to the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market and buying 30 gallons of distilled water to hold the fish over until you could get the right stuff?

David VanRisseghem said:

Aren't carp chinese, too?

In the context Michael wrote of, Chinese refers to a standard of quality in manufacturing, rather than the virtues of a nationality ("Chinese" is a nationality, not a race).
We used to make the same observations about Japanese manufacturing, but once they went high-end, high-tech, we quit criticizing their products. But I doubt that it effected the views of the true bigots of the world.
Michael's not a racist. We sometimes butt heads; but he's not a racial bigot.

~David Van

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This page contains a single entry by Michael Bates published on March 18, 2007 6:08 PM.

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